EPILOGUE:
“Hey. Wake up“, he shook her shoulder. He had fallen asleep right afterwards and he felt terrible. What had happened? The room was dark. She was under him. He felt her moving, trying to get up.
“Uh...uh..Mhmm“, he muffled her voice with his hand over her mouth. Then the graphic images returned. The slow kissing, then pushing her down, not even bothering to fully undress and hurriedly redressing afterwards. Had it been a dream? He hoped so.
“Shush... Stay calm ok?“, he said softly, slowly removing his hand. There was a fear in him about how she would respond... IF she did at all respond.The calmness in her voice chilled him when she finally spoke after an excruciatingly long minute.
“I am calm.“
“I... Did we...?“
“Yes.“
“Did we use...um..?“
“No.“
“Oh HELL! I am so sorry! Sweetheart...“
“Don‘t“, she placed a finger on his lips, finding it correctly in the darkness,“Don‘t say a word.“
The silence extended like spring more and more ready to bounce. “I‘m sorry... I am so sorry, I wasn‘t myself and... Oh God. I have no excuse.“
“I don‘t want excuses. What happened happened. You can‘t change that.“
“I never wanted to hurt you, I swear. I‘ll buy you an ECP. Are you ok? My love... What did I do?“, trembling, few tears fell from his eyes.
Everything was going wrong. She had... had an intense experience. But she wouldn‘t call it rape. No. She had wanted it. That was a stunning revelation. She had wanted it. But... not like this. Not when he was like this.
“Why ...“, his voice shook. The room was pitch black and he wanted to see her. To look in her eyes and beg forgiveness. He started to feel around for the switch and asked,“Why didn‘t you stop me? You didn‘t stop me... Why, why, WHY?“
He flipped the switch at that exact moment. His liquid golden-brown eyes registered shock. She was smiling. A quiet, thrilled smile as though she had just discovered something too wonderful for words.
And she had. She loved him like no other. Enough to even allow this.
“I... I think I am in love with you“, she confessed, her soft brown eyes betraying the hint of excitement and fear that her voice and other features did not.
“WHAT?!“, he exploded. He caught her shoulders and pushed her back into the bed, looking at her eyes, begging them to say it‘s a lie.
“I... We... That... That happened ok? It wasn‘t some dream. You should be hating me! Oh God, why didn‘t you stop me?!“, he groaned out loud. She eyed him, a half-smile still on her face.
“Because I didn‘t want to. You needed me so I let you. It‘s just... I don‘t want next time like that. It was...scary.“
“You fool“, he said quietly,“I raped you. Don‘t you get it?“
“But you love me. You told me you did.“
“No. No.“ He sat up and so did she. Her facing him and him hiding his face in his hands.
“You told me so before you passed out.“
“What is WRONG with you woman?! Hate me! I took your dignity!“
“You took my love.“
“Oh God. Just give me time. I... I can‘t believe it.“
“Ah, but you have to“, she stood up and stretched,“I woke up a while ago actually. I bought groceries and cooked dinner. It‘s in the fridge. Just heat it up.“
“Wait! Where are you going?!“
“Back to my room. I‘m feeling sore.“
“I‘m really...“
She put a finger to his lips silencing him.
“Shush... I‘m leaving now. Goodbye.“
Mouth open, he watched as she opened the door and gently shut it behind her. She paused a moment outside the door unbeknownst to the one inside. Then she smiled again and... She left.
