Pensée introvertie

This happiness could just be
A brightly coloured bubble
Or a green-gray grenade waiting
To explode in our faces.

This lull right now
Could be the calm before a storm
And the winds are already picking up
And the waves are already crashing down.

You tell me not to worry about
Yesterday or tomorrow but
What is there in today other than
A lot of past,
A lot of future,
A second of present.

You kiss me and it is already past.
You kiss me and we're already in the future.
You kiss me so is it only now?

Endless caution and anxiety
Feeds into each other and makes me
Want to find my loneliness again.
Not my solitude.
Not my escape.
But my loneliness, again.

Holding

Hold me.
Just hold me and let me be.

Let me be the the little girl I forgot
Way back when the 2nd millennium began.

Let me be the awkward teenager
Whose curiosity was worse than a cat.

Let me be the young woman who values work
As though it is her way to salvation.

Let me be your princess and your queen
And everything else you need, in love.

But hold me.
And I will hold you.

Let you be the little boy in grubby shorts
Out in the sun instead of in class.

Let you be the awkward teenager who couldn't
Care less about the world than it did for him.

Let you be the young man wandering and wondering
In search of what he is to be and become.

Let you be my prince and my king when it is time
Because there are no questions, not in love.

And I'll hold you
So tell me this if

We let ourselves be anyone we want then
Could we still be lovers to each other
while being strangers to ourselves?

----
My eyes stray nowhere else.
The lion's golden brown eyes devoured the soul of a patient bull.
----

Letters

I was a letter beautifully written,
You were my envelope with the address.

It was a home delivery with red flowers,
Delivered by hand and received with thanks.

The reply was sent then and there,
The flowers wilted but the letter stayed,
The address never changed -
Our home was the always the same.

Heaven sent the sun..

A broken heart,
A million shards,
A bucket of super glue,
A patched up new start.

Cracks erased,
Scars fade,
Time healed,
Just another day.

You walked by,
I smiled a goodbye,
The hello was lost,
I waved at one else.

Compass points north,
North seems home,
Home likes him -
So do I.

Now happy tears have found its way,
I smile at the baby in my arms today,
Thank goodness that he's my one,
Thank heavens for sending me the sun.

I don't want to fall in love...

I don't want to fall in love
If you don't want to try,
Passion and flames are good enough,
But what about when it's ice?
I don't want to fall in love
If you don't want to stay,
Life gives no guarantees
But promise you'll try each day?
I don't want to fall in love
If you don't want to see
The miracle that we could be,
The healing that this can be,
The ruination of two beings,
The catastrophe we will be.

Words in memory

My words fell uselessly at your feet,
And now you are trying to sleep,
But they have risen to fly
All around your head at night,
They won't give you peace, my friend,
Those words were precious,
Each one of them
And every word has a price
That you will have to pay,
Ever more and maybe throughout,
And you should know this,
Those words you thought useless
Were never useless at all,
They're ghosts from your past
That won't leave you alone
Even when your scars heal,
They're enough to cut it open
With memories enough to destroy you
To even finally end you.

Your house of cards

Your house of cards has fallen down,
Maybe you should've thought twice
Before moving on,
Before you pushed and pulled
And screamed and shrugged off,
Maybe you should've thought twice
Before walking out.

Your house of cards has fallen down,
Now you just want someone
To help rebuild it all,
But there is a new queen in the set
And a new king
And a new joker unmatched,
That would be you it seems.

Your house of cards has fallen down.
Now so have you, stained and broken
You're on the floor, I see you screaming.
I see your hurt and I'm bleeding.
I'm watching you die and I'm blinking.
I see you writhe and groan for these words,
You're forgiven, so I'm giving.

New year

A new beginning,
A new friend,
A new hope,
A new life begins.

Starting over,
Reading again,
Beautiful places,
Feeling again.

A new start,
A new book,
A new story,
A new chapter.

Tales of love have no end.
Somehow or the other,
You'll find yourself back again.

Scarce much to say

Love has scarce much to say,
When it begins to go the wrong way,
There are a few tears and few fights,
Yet things seem alright each night,
Till the day she tells him to leave
Without warning, without grief,
In a cold tone that could have cut stone,
And he felt it with his bones,
That this was the chill of a final goodbye,
And she had no more tears left to cry,
Not more and never again,
Definitely not for him.