Anxiety and me on friendship

How to ruin a friendship -

Anxiety: This is utter bullshit my dear. You shouldn't even look at her or talk to her anymore. Even God wouldn't know how many buckets of lies she has dumped on you.

Me: But she helped me a lot. Maybe she is actually having a tough time.

Anxiety: Yes and that is why you see her selfishness plain on her face every day. She doesn't approach you unless she needs something or to show that she is around even though she has so many businesses to take care of.

Me: When was she selfish?

Anxiety: You are sick since over a month. You're not getting any better. You're not going to. That day she got admitted for nothing except a glucose drip and mental instability. Mainly mental instability. You were vomiting the whole time when you weren't with her. You didn't sleep. The amount of bullshit you deflect from other people bitching about her is amazing as well. She's a selfish lunatic.

Me: No she's not. She's having problems with some people.

Anxiety: What she needs is to get married and have a few kids. She'll be fine then. She needs a husband and sex.

Me: That's mean and that's not true.

Anxiety: This is the age to have a boyfriend and have fun. Not mope around.

Me: It's her life and her choice. Shut up.

Anxiety: When did she ever understand what you were going through except that one time at the previous flat? That girl was a bug to everyone. Even then.

Me: Just shut up. I'm not listening to you.

Anxiety: Just pointing out facts here.

Me: Shut up. *sleeps with mind full of doubts : doesn't she like me anymore? Was she using me like the others? It can't be true, I trusted her. She won't break it... Will she?*

And we just met at the wrong time...

...And we just met at the wrong time.

It was winter and 4°.
Not 3°, not the time to say
I love you,
Not the time to sit around
On benches throwing leaves
At each other for fun
And getting drunk on
A little bit of sun.

And we just met at the wrong time.

It was new year's eve.
Not Valentine's, not the time to say
I love you,
Not the time to sit around
On big rocks on top of
Big rocks and gazing at stars
And rescuing idiots who
Fall down slippery stairs.

And we just met at the wrong time.

It was time for a rebound.
Not a serious relationship, not the time to say
I love you,
Not the time to wander around
Half drunk and pushing the other
Wondering if a wrong word will
Destroy hearts or fix it
Maybe, just maybe.

We might have met at the wrong time.

But you were ready and so was I.
Maybe right now the distance hurts
More than we let it show,
Maybe nights on a strange bed with dreams
Can't alleviate this sorrow,
Maybe saying sweet nothings mean more
Than just empty tea cups in the sink
Smelling of rum and whiskey.

We met at a wrong right time.

Because we really needed each other,
But maybe not just right now.
This distance we are put in now,
The decisions which await,
It's all so confusing,
But we're ready and it's now

That we can say those words,
At any temperature,
At any place,
On any day,
At any time,
I love you,
Because when love's real...
It finds a way back to itself.

Wrong time or not.

Memories

In hidden corners of green and grey,
(The places we hide in to go away)
With a few letters on paper and play,
(Love letters after class, fighting for don't-know-what)
Some quite moments of staring on blue,
(Water in the Well isn't really so blue)
Brown and gold back to brown and black,
(When you look at me just so, I melt into you)
Some stories are just for...
(Late nights with coffee, tea and a kitchen top)
The one who knows
(I love you).

Who decides

She doesn't deserve him,
She doesn't have anything
Which could keep him,
But he stays, is staying.

He doesn't need her,
He doesn't have anything
That she could need either,
But she stays, is staying.

Maybe they don't deserve each other,
Maybe they don't need each other,
But maybe they want each other,
And maybe keep choosing each other,

Even when the world and time
Says otherwise.
Maybe that's why they call it
Love.

Confident lies

It's all about confidence -
Even if your look doesn't match it,
Even if your body can't handle it,
It's all about confidence.

It's just an act dear -
You put a smile on your face,
(Just so)
You walk with purposeful steps,
(Imagine a pseudo ramp)
You talk with a serious note,
(Let's try middle C)
Your eyes will not be the mirror
Of your craven, pathetic little soul
(Hard as a piece of carbon under pressure),
It's all just an act my dear.

It's all about confidence -
How much do you believe your own lie?
It's all about confidence -
How much of the lie is the truth?
It's all about confidence -
How much will you strut without a stutter?
It's all about confidence -
Even if your look doesn't match it,
Even if your body can't handle it,
It's all about confidence.

Your world might be in pieces,
You might be in a dark abyss,
The trick is not to let them know
For them to think you're the predator.

Not the prey, not the foe.
Not a victim, no, not at all.

It's all about confidence.

Heartbreak

And thus when a heart breaks and shatters on the floor, the silence of misunderstanding is what echoes. No one sees those clouds which rain only in the ocean...until an unfortunate sailor is caught on the wrong tide. His heart might break hearing the roar of the winds and knowing he'll die without a last kiss to his wife. It might shatter into a million shards and scatter across the seas. But its silence is the only thing that echoes.