Untitled #15 - knowing

I wish I was there with you
But I'm drifting so far away
Lying right next to you
Distance means so little
I could be crying an ocean
You'd never know.

I wish I was there with you
With the old movies and cheap jokes
Your laughter echoes from afar
Distance means so little
I could be struggling to breathe
You'd never know.

I'm here with you
Separated by a wall of silence
Lying on the same bed
Could we be any further
You could be dying, living,
Finding something worth discovering;

I'd never know.

Untitled #14

This is from the place that I hold inside,
The place that I try to hide,
That place that freaks my mind,
It's from the place where I try to die _

Right beneath my skin,
An ocean is bubbling, boiling,
Questioning an empty life, my sins,
Is it all in vain, this toiling?

This Lack that I hold inside,
The emptiness I try to hide,
The aches that scar my mind,
This feeling that I must die _

Right beneath my skin
Are my truths turned to lies,
Voices screaming in my mind,
"No good", my uselessness amplified -

For me to see what I've become,
A stranger I refuse to love,
With blank eyes, a loud mind,
An empty heart _

If only I could not see
This depth of emptiness
Staring back at me.