Unrequited

She tries to sleep. It evades her skilfully. Her eyes droop shut, heavy with exhaustion but they don't sleep. Not yet.
His face comes back to her. An image in her mind, yet so real as though she may reach out and touch it. But where he is and what he does is unknown, like a riddle never solved.
Why are there promises, or that which seems like promises, which are made just to be broken? Even the simplest ones - I will meet you afterwards, I'll come. It's a promise, isn't it? Or did she misinterpret?
Lonely nights spent wandering the roads and listening to music doesn't help anymore. The solitude doesn't help anymore. Sleep doesn't come anymore. Nothing works anymore.
It's as if doubt has overcome her.
She was called selfish, she was called arrogant. Named as sensitive, named as callous. What did she do? Care and love in the only few ways she knows how to. By noticing a hole in a t-shirt and replacing it. Finding torn clothes and stitching it. Putting to wash a blanket maybe, but then these are things anyone may do. Sharing her food, sharing her money. Sharing a bit of happiness which she thinks others might smile at...even if only for a moment. Others meaning him of course.
Yet none of this matters does it? Executing what is impossible for her must be the proof. Then let there be no proof. Calling too often is a crime nowadays, maybe. It is, of course, a waste of money. So no more calls. No more anything.
Irritating, the mere presence of her is irritating. Not just to him either. So why bother, it was easier in quiet solitude.
Unrequited love seems a better option. Loving from a distance has the advantage that it will never open you up for folly. It may hurt to just watch but at least it would have been your own choice. It would infinitely feel better than being forced into watching, seeing yourself lose all influence with the one you care about the most.
Unrequited love. A sort of unconscious, unconditional love. And have you noticed yet? All those begin with U.
You.

Just For Now

I feel none, just sitting in a box,
Of whose I miss the locks,
I stare out, up at a sky,
Dotted with stars and fireflies;
Maybe one day, I'll get up and out there,
Maybe one day, I'll know that which is fair,
Maybe one day, I'll find the secrets to souls
Maybe one day, everything will be revealed on its own;
But for now in my box,
I'm caught yet I'm not,
Now in my box,
I'm cosy and I'm warm;
Curiosity strikes me hard and deep,
Yet somehow I hesitate from making the leap,
I'm so far from where I thought to go,
So far from once strong lived hopes and lows;
Stuck in my box, I still wonder,
I still want to try stirring waters,
Still would like to think as though
The black sheep is what I am, yet,
My trials seem so far away from this end.

Deaf and dumb

Deaf and Dumb

She just needed to hear two words from him, but he couldn't say it. Their love remained unknown, she deaf and him dumb, staring at each other across the road.

Silent Love Silenced

In a soft rain that seeped into them -
The scent of soil tainting his -
A cloth that slowly slipped away,
A soft brown shoulder as of yet untouched
Gently pushed back, a bare back against the hard and wet
Wall behind pressed into delicate skin -
The slight pain kissed away by the lover
Arousal in her, drawing out a quiet sound -
His hands on her stomach, her hips,
Standing body to body, lips to lips -
A drenched white shirt, pushed back,
Fell on the floor, turned brown as the rain grew -
In strength, quiet silent strength,
Her mouth covered by his, there is no sound -
The rain fell and fell, no one knew.
One late evening, it just happened and it happens
More often than you know, the power of love,
What one may think, do, gain or lose -
The rain will fall and fall,
And now mix with her tears as they drop to the floor,
Her only support before her yet behind somehow,
Tears fall, there will be more -
It continues next day when
You know not what to say
And his eyes betray his thoughts
As hers guard the pain inside,
When no one knows, the rain fell and fell -
Another proposal came, took her away
And they were lost to each other forever,
His action and wish had come too late,
Only memories , bittersweet remain -
Of the rain falling, the mist guarding,
Their silent love -
Which has now been silenced, la fin.

Sworn off love, yet...

Love takes one by surprise
Always when one is trying to hide,
I had sworn away from love
But I fell again twice -
As a person, to arouse my curiosity,
As a friend, to rouse my loyalty.
The loneliness I built around me -
One took it down in several days
And laid the kiss that send it to ruin.
As a friend, to awaken my soul -
Someone I stare at and more
To wonder how it came to be,
That opposites may stay together
And feel so much!
I, who had never felt before,
And fell twice!
And of thrice being the last,
I hope I've made myself wise -
Because no one would wish
To be heartbroken thrice.

I dream of...

Of star gazing together,
Holding hands,
Lying down on silken sands,
Waves splashing gently a little away,
His fingers entwined in mine lifted to his face,
Falling asleep in his arms,
A warm, mosquito-less night out,
Waking up sandy and laughing out loud -
A dream where he'll caress my face,
Pull me close and regard me a little dazed,
Where everything is fine on silken sands,
Where we're happy together hand in hand,
Where we can escape to, alone in each other's thoughts,
Where no one will find us,
Where sweet love is all.