Simple As It Seems

Simple as it seems
It might go to extremes
Your mind, love and life
Either all knives or no strife

Complexities come
Anonymity goes
Pleasure flies
Castles fall

Tossed in confusion
Hidden fears come around
Night creeps in
Darkness surrounds

Lying there
Waiting in the dark
Thinking this it
No last marks

Dawn comes in
Over dark night
Embers of light
Takes away the fright

Growing again to peace
Serenity and beauty sweet
Standing on your two feet
Times better now for lease

Simple as it seems
It might go to extremes
Your mind, love and life
For all day and all night.

Me And My Books

To go to a place That's not just in my dreams, My books, my friends, Take me everywhere it seems. A meadow, a lake Or a mountain top, Or maybe just take Me to an old farmhouse. Adventures at some pages, Simple fun at others, Gets trapped in a cage To escape in another. A whole new world You're free to explore, To go at your own pace Through pages of folklore.

The Reason

If this is only to please, 
Whoever may read, 
I shall drop my pen and leave, 
For writing is my need, 
The reason I continue to believe, 
In my escape, my lead, 
Into the world I could be just me.

On The Road To 'Giving Up'

"Sometimes, the simplest of solutions just don't strike you".

 Or maybe it does but you're just not ready to accept it. Like speaking out when you have a problem, or just starting something instead of procrastinating it further and further thinking there's no point in it.

Another view - You might love playing your instrument and you might be really good at it. But, one fine day, you decide it's not worth it. Ask why? Because things are not working out as planned and you're not getting the attention you deserve. It saps away your self confidence and all the well-placed assurance you had in that love...

The work that never felt like work.

It's a slow killer - when you make a mistake in something well rehearsed, when you do well and still go unrecognized. Basically, it can be humiliating, depressing and/or disheartening each and every time the memory comes up. But... Whatever you are and wherever you are, be a good one. Things happen and if it badly affects something you feel is a part of what defines YOU, it WILL hurt like hell. We all know that...

... And also the things to do in face of these. Grieve about it for a while and get up. Accept it after a short stint in the numbing Land Of Denial and Grief. Pick up the fallen pieces. Move on and try again and again... With everything you are and everything you've got. 

All this is very much easier said than done. But hey, life is a game that ought to be played no matter how many ups or downs. Starting off with the change will be tough, but you can never know!

Rejection (and the associated dejection) can happen in any form and at any time in life. Try to take it in your stride. Learn from it and know within that there will always be someone to believe in you. Help is probably just a call away! And I mean that literally too.

Consider it like like this... You may be on the right track but on the wrong train. Just keep the spirit to wait till the next stop to change trains! It might just make a WORLD of difference.

The Day I Met My Enemy 'D'

I've never felt like this before.

Like everything's falling apart and there's nothing to hold on to. If this is what they call depression, I want nothing to do with it. It's worse than hateful... It's this feeling of.. helplessness. 

Like you're trapped, you're suffocating, the world is closing in on you and look all around and see everything tinged with a multitude of colors which seem to scream "hopeless" at you...

Lost all faith. Falling into this dark desperate world with not a soul to confide in. Everything that shouldn't stress you is stressful. You just want to sleep. To escape the horror and the pain... Pain when there IS no REAL pain to explain.. No one understands when you are asking for help... No aim, no resolution... Just pressure from all sides pushing against your being, your mind... Slowly but surely crushing your spirit.. Crushing the core of who you are. Till you are finally left with nothing. 

Nothing but a void. 

But that was yesterday. Yesterday I was scared, panic-stricken, confused. At everything the world threw at me. It felt too much and my screams were doing nothing to stop it. 

Today it's a different story. Today it's like I'm catching my breath again. Like I've been let up for air after my head was sunk in a barrel chock full of water. Slowly I'm trying to analyse everything, grasp at the threads that should hold 'me' together. It's not entirely working.. But after talking to my friends (my threshold of strength at all times. Thank Goodness for them!) I'm getting some it back. And by 'it', I mean my hope.

It's still so hard though. I won't lie and say I'm rising all in one day, no. But I can feel some of it coming back and telling me 'I can'... That someone else is there I can lean on to tell me 'It'll be ok' when I'm down, like I am now.

Tomorrow... For tomorrow I'm hoping. That it'll be better. That the one step I climbed today, I won't fall back. Hoping so much. Even today, so much of what I did were perfect flops. Others getting disappointed in me felt like a hard punch to my gut. And not just one either. But I feel I can take it on.

If you've been to this place, or you've felt this before and you're reading this now... There's one last thing I have to say - Believe when it's beyond reason to believe.

Everyday won't be like the last. And even if we feel all alone, someone somewhere will find us and help us if we try to get it. As man believes, so he is. And as we hope, we can't go amiss. Can we?