I Withdraw Into Myself...

I withdraw into myself.
I wonder what comes next to the mind.
It's pointless to say the world spins,
When my world is in the paper and as thin.
Next scene comes to my window,
A lady in red against red.
Blood red yet once thrilled me,
Came back again to haunt me,
The vision of marriage in sacred red -
Thrown down, walked over and shred.
Divorce papers are on their way.
Their lawyers talk everyday.
What happened? Stop and think
Where that first misstep came to begin.

I withdraw into myself.
I wonder what comes next to the mind.
It's pointless to say the world exists,
When my world is in the paper in my fist.
Another scene, a flashback of sorts.
The first time trying,
The first cry, the first call.
Never to see Daddy except on weekends
And Mommy was in rehab quite weakened.
Four years old, scenes come crashing,
Moments burning in jealousy at other lives flashing.
Never to feel or see both parents smile,
Not together, not even for a while.
Something between them had died.

I withdraw into myself.
I wonder what comes next to the mind.
It's pointless to say the world mirrors,
For my life is in the paper that can not be mirrored.
Mirrors broken, pieces around.
A fire extinguisher broken, unsound.
The rooftops burning, crashing down.
Teenage release, a pain more easily found -
Easily found, easier to understand
Than the blinding headaches of quarrels overheard.
A need to drop all and run away,
Somehow to find another way.
But what are the ways of escape?
A juvenile prison is better to evade.

I withdraw into myself.
I still see the lady in red,
I still remember her laughing face,
Walking around a fire, a shy embrace,
The new blossomed love that shone so bright,
About which I wish I could write -
But it's pointless to say the world is real,
When all is fake with only the paper real...

Happily Ever After IV

 # Part 4

...Surprisingly  Rhea died very quickly and no, she didn't turn back into a human or anything. She just died. The end.

"What? So soon?"

"Would you just shut up and listen?" 

"Okay okay."

"Good...

Then Micheal asked the obvious question, "Is she dead?"

"I guess. Doesn't seem to be breathing or anything", said Jay.

"Amy, good job girl", cheered Racer.

"Amy, you okay?", asked Jay. Amy had a weird expression on her face. Then she launched into a most melodramatic speech.

"I fight this..this thing and you three BOYS stand by and cheer as you watch me do it. No help, no nothing. And you three, my best friends. I could've died. I'm hurt and battered and bruised and NONE of you bothered. Not a single one. Thanks a lot. I see how much you care."

Wait, Amy, we're sorry was what she expected as she walked away. But all she got was silence. Therefore she walked away.

"Jay, are you really gonna let her walk away like that dude?"

"Micheal what will I say? Sorry for not hitting a GIRL on your behalf?"

"I don't know dude. Whatever she wants to hear. She's your crush not mine."

"She's your best friend too!"

"Just go dude", that was Racer. And so, Jay ran after her. Just in time to see her held by two men - their absentee kidnappers. Maybe it was the adrenaline or the guilty feelings from hearing her speech or his feelings for her or all three, Jay went for them. Racer and Micheal happened to have been following Jay (good for him), so they (inspired by guilt and adrenaline) (and a good amount of testosterone) went for those men too.

"And they won?"

"They have to else the story can't move forward."

"Good Point, go on."

"Yeah so they won...

It was three big strong guys against two 40 year old men. They HAD to win, else it would have been shameful. So they rescued Amy. And looked expectantly at her, after all four of them had run away from the knocked out men to their home. She said nothing. Just looked at Jay and went to her floor. And Jay did nothing either. They had dinner from Mom who never knew any of this and went to bed. Oh, and they never found out where Rhea got her money from. The end.

"Really? That's it? No Happily Ever After?"

"Well MY Jay never asked me. I'm disappointed. So I realize Happily Ever Afters are overrated in the romance department. But it IS a Happily Ever After. I mean, they didn't die or anything."

"Maybe your Jay, whoever the poor soul is, is waiting for you to ask him. And that's true enough but not your regular happy ending."

"So if I ask will he say yes?"

"Probably. It's not like you're a bad person. Janie, you're my best friend and I can guarantee even your weird nature is good... Once you get used to it."

"So that means you're my boyfriend IF I ask you."

"Yes."

"So I'm asking you."

"Yes."

"So you're my boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"And I'm your girlfriend???"

"Yes."

"What the heck are you saying yes for????"

"Yes to you for your not-so-subtle-yet-obvious-unasked-question."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"You can stop saying yes now."

"Okay."

"So I have a boyfriend...And you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Is this a happy ending?"

"How do I know? It's not even started and you're going straight to the ending."

"This is not gonna work. You and I are like chalk and cheese."

"Maybe and maybe not."

"What?"

"I'm not gonna explain that. Go figure it out. Use Google."

Author's note: Janie and Sean made it out Happily Ever After.

*The End*

Happily Ever After III

#Part 3

..."You.  Obviously."

"What? You actually understood that question?"

"Yup. So let's move on."

"And a Grand Rescue, here we come."

"Not that grand. So they set out to find her and rescue her...

"Are you sure this is the place?", asked Amy, "I don't wanna end up messing my flats in slime. Or worse, slip and fall like I stepped on a banana peel."

"Well this is where they said they'll bring her if we bring the ransom", comforted Micheal.

"So? We don't HAVE any ransom!"

"They don't know that."

"How can you know? May be they are watching us right now."

"You don't know that."

"You don't know that either."

"I wonder where she gets the money from though", Jay interrupted their bickering.

"True", agreed Racer.He never said much other true or I don't really agree with that or really? in various tones. Even this remarkable predicament they were in didn't have much effect on them.

"What if they shoot us or capture us and ask Mom for money?", inquired Jay.

"Always the pessimist. BOTH of you. Let's go in. We'll never find out standing here", sighed Micheal and led the little group inside a run-down dojo(a real one this time). No one seemed to be around. So Amy, the unfortunate adventurer decided to venture forward. Notice the word unfortunate. The moment she reached the next floor, she found herself facing Rhea. A black, dark and definitely more vindictive Rhea.

"Where's my money?!", she screeched. Or rather IT screeched. This version of Rhea grew wings and fangs like the Dracula's Little Helpers in Van Helsing except not that...pretty. And the last thing the guys heard was a scream from upstairs. Rhea's scream not Amy's which really sounded like a bat so they didn't bother going up. Till Jay felt guilty the next second and went upstairs invoking guilty feelings in the other two. Hence, they were not really prepared to be hit by a flying (well, falling) bat-woman-snake creature. They were more prepared for 'Sorry Amy'. And Amy wasn't feeling very sorry at all. She got to take out her frustration on this thing. As Shakespeare once said, "And though she be but little, she is fierce."

"Stop. Right. There."

"What now Sean?!"

"I like the movie reference but don't give me your lover."

"My lover???"

"Yeah. William."

"BUT I DON'T LIKE WILL!!!! I TOLD YOU I'M OVER HIM LAST YEAR!!!!!"

"Dufus. Not William Forman. William Shakespeare."

"Oh."

"Oh is right. Now go on."

"But he is dead."

"I know."

"Then how can he be my lover?"

"Just continue. PLEASE."

"Ok, but I really don't get your lame jokes."

"They are not lame."

"I'm continuing now."

"They are -"

" I AM CONTINUING NOW. Thank you very much. Then..

As never seen before, Amy let loose. She kicked, punched and bit. Even scratched. And Rhea The Evil Spawn and Amy The Good Girl Gone Wild had the time of their life in a girl wrestle-mania while the guys stood to the side watching and cheering. Honestly, the only thing missing was a big bowl of popcorn, coke and a couch. The match ended very quickly though because Amy knifed Rhea. Yes, she kept a knife in case one of the absentee kidnappers jumped on her and she had no other choice. Surprisingly  Rhea died very quickly and no, she didn't turn back into a human or anything. She just died. The end.

*May Not Be Continued*

Happily Ever After II

#Part 2

..."Oh? It's MY story. I make it and end it as I please."

"No way. I'm continuing it."

"Oh really?" 

"Yup. Will do."

"Let's see it then."

"Oook. So let's rewind and restart... And give proper names first of all. Me can be... Jay! And You can be..."

"Jane?"

"Nooo!!! That's so cliché!! Hm... How about Army?"

"ARMY?!"

"Oops! Amy. I meant Amy."

"Okay. So here's Janie's version for the world to hear - Jay and Amy sitting on a tree. K-i-s..."

"SHUT UP!!!! That's NOT how it is!"

"Oho, so you were thinking of it."

"What?! NO!"

"Admit it."

"No! Ugh! Would you just let me tell the story?!"

"Admit it."

"No!!!! LET ME TELL THE STORY!!!!"

"Hey hey no need to get so loud."

"I'm not loud."

"Well you were loud."

"I. WAS. NOT."

"God! Janie just tell the story."

"If you, Sean, keep quiet."

"Fine."

"And no interruptions."

"Yes because unlike you I have patience."

"Just shut up will you?"

"I'm just telling you the truth."

"Truth or lie, CAN IT."

"Fine Miss Fireworks. I'm waiting for a story. Entertain me."

"Oh! Okay! So. Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, in a humble prosaic town of Everything, lived Micheal.

"I thought it was Jay."

"Hmm. Bear with me. Micheal is someone else."

"I thought you misplaced Jay."

"I didn't misplace anyone. I thought you said you wouldn't interrupt."

"I wasn't interrupting. i was merely inquiring."

"Whatever. So...

Micheal owned what is now called a hotel. Except that this one looked like a dojo (from the outside). With several (4) floors. And was sitting on the stump of a tree which later grew around the dojo and made it look like a growing tree house. He lived there with his crazy friends. I call them crazy because there were upstarts and living life at maximum experiencing everything acutely. 

"Amazing friends."

"Yup...

They were five in all. Micheal, Jay, Amy, Racer (don't ask) and Micheal's mom (who is never seen till the crowd wants food). They lived separately meeting up for games and meals and just the general talking that friends do about everything or nothing in particular. These four always went out and all around the prosaic Everything and even ventured into the surrounding areas, uncharted to most. But usually, they would be lazy and stay in playing games, or feeding and playing with the variety of pets they kept. Now to the cliché part.

"Waiting for the obvious."

"No interruptions.

Amy was the only female in the group other than Micheal's mom (hence forth to be referred as Mom). And of course SOMEBODY atleast would have a crush on her. In this case, it was Jay. Funny thing is, everyone knew it. Mom, Micheal, Racer, and even Amy. Though Jay never did anything to demonstrate his affection towards Amy. The cliché is Amy liked Jay and this, again, everyone knew including Jay. But that was probably because being a frank and open girl, Amy had made her feelings for him clear. Sadly for her, Jay didn't seem anything other than a little shell-shocked at the revelation. He treated her in a caring, concerned brotherly, friendly way as usual and didn't give any response. And that was read as a "no" by Amy. So that was it. No big staring-deeply-into-each-other's-eyes-during-mealtimes or sneaking-a-peek-when-no-one-is-looking or blushing-when-one-accidentally-brushes-against-him/her or...

"Okay okay! I get it!"

"Good. Then.

One day, a new girl appeared seeking lodging. Rhea. She was taken in but wasn't exactly accepted because :

1. spoilt and noisy ( i.e. screeches and shrieks)

2. too good at archery and whip-lashing (their favorite sports)

3. conceited about it

4. complained about everyone especially Amy but never about Jay

5. for some reason had an inexplicable liking towards Jay (probably for the looks and the poor guy's calm temperament and skills)

Needless to say. she wasn't a success. Yet no one complained exactly because... Well she WAS paying for everything. She was filthy rich (no idea how) and splashed money around like she had money growing on trees.NOT surprisingly enough, she got kidnapped. Except no one knew from where she got the money so they couldn't exactly pay the ransom and rescue her (believe me, they looked EVERYWHERE for it). So they took the last resort. They went to save her.

"Yawn. Boooring. They are gonna save her and there will be a happily ever after."

"Aha! And THAT, my friend, is exactly where you are wrong. There isn't a happily ever after."

"Really? I'm skeptic about that."

"Well you don't know the rest yet."

"True."

"Who gets the girl anyway?"

"I thought you said you were patient."

"I say a lot of things. Who asked you to take everything literally applicable to every situation?"

"Who asked you to let me think that everything you say is literally applicable to every situation?"

"Who told you to think that everything I say is literally applicable to every situation?"

"You.  Obviously."

"What? You actually understood that question?"

"Yup. So let's move on."

"And a Grand Rescue, here we come."

"Not that grand. So they set out to find her and rescue her...

*May Not Be Continued*

A Love More Than Love

It is a love more than love -

Something beautifully indescribable.

The hearts given are forever,

And for those of you who don't believe:

This love is truly for eternity

Whether you see it or not,

Believe it or not,

It is a love more than love;

And nothing will mar its glorious face,

Weather beaten, scarred and a bit damaged,

But beautiful in the truth it says -

That our love is more than love,

And no matter where or how or what,

It's together till time do us part.

Masquerade

'Masquerade, masquerade.
Paper faces on parade;
Masquerade -
Hide your face so
No one will ever find you'

Masquerade, masquerade,
Faces hidden, plots laid;
Masquerade -
Everyone is real and fake,
You'll never know

Except for few;
In this charade, this masquerade.
Weathered, tanned faces
Thought so rare -
They exist, they do,

Find one and keep it;
In this charade, this masquerade,
Where dreams failed or found,
No one cares, except they,
Their faces so rare;

In this masquerade, masquerade.
Where paper faces may burn;
Masquerade -
Where reality strikes pretty
The pale hidden face,

Masquerade, masquerade.
Are you masked or not, sir?
For this masquerade,
Everyday a different face!
Masquerade.

A Moment in Time

(The starting)

Sitting on the bed

Staring at the mirror

In the dark

That is interspersed

With the dim light

Coming in through

The half closed doorway –

(Thinking about)

Pain, darkness, threats,

Dire thoughts that come

Unbidden to a mind

Filled with glittering stars

In the multitude

Of the night sky

With a blue moon –

(I feel)

Strange as though

It may seem

To me it’s a flow

Of the unnatural streams

Whose flow goes

From my senses

To my mind’s dome –

(And now)

Thinking naught

Just caught

In the eddies

Of a silent flow.

Death's Embrace

The feeling of death
With a constricted chest
Blurring vision
And thumping head
Body paralyzed
Mind shutting down
Chest gets tighter
Breathing is harder
Pain shooting up
From a point, from the heart
The final gasp
The final breath
Shaking hands
Body cold
No painful heartbeat
I saw my death.

Infinity to Hell

Smallest things pull me over the edge
The threads break, I fall in a well
Trying to cover up the scars on my legs,
My arms, my face but most of all, my chest.
Bruises evident- nothing makeup can't hide
A fake face to the world
Before I leave, scream and die.
The Target's moving, Spirit chases behind
Sucks out the last air-
The thread breaks-
Infinity to hell-
The descend takes.

Happily Ever After

#Part 1

"Happily Ever After. What all little girls (and secretly, little boys) want. And not just them either. Even me. I'm a step out of teenage and I still wish for it too."

"Of course you do. You're a dreamer Janie. Fairytales don't always have happily ever after-s."

"Really Sean? Name one."

"You."

"You? Me? I'm a fairytale?"

"No silly. You is a fairytale."

"Uhuh. And why haven't I heard about it before? I'm sure I read more than you."

"Because it's my fairytale."

"All right Sean. Let's hear it."

"Alright. Here goes.....

Once upon a time, in a big city, there lived a prince called Me Everything. And also, Me  had everything. He had a mansion on his private beach, an island, a city, a fleet of cars, a -

"Did he have love?"

"Are you going to interrupt me whenever and wherever?"

"Maybe"

"Maybe"

"Sheesh. Go on."

"Where was I? Oh yes.

- a playstation, an xbox, a rig, his personal attendants, blah blah and etc. He was like Richie Rich or Artemis Fowl. Except he was selfish and wanted everything. He had worked himself nearly to death to get where he was now. And it all happened because of Less. Less Everything. The prettiest creature he had laid eyes on but couldn't have. Less was kind and generous and basically... An epitome of goodness. But had nothing. That didn't matter then because she was happy.

"Were they in love?"

"Would you let me get to it?"

"I sense a failed love story"

"You'll be sensing absence soon if you don't shut up"

"What absence?"

"My absence"

"Ayyo Sean-ae pokalle"

"WHAT?!"

"Just a phrase I picked up from a gal in class"

"Means?"

"Oh no Sean don't go"

"Ook"

"Ok"

"K"

"L"

"Shut up"

"Continue"

"Fine. So.

Less had Me and that was all she wanted and all he wanted. After all Me was only 10years old then. Me took Less to every Pet day and always prided himself about his beautifully trained collie.

"A DOG?!"

"JANIE!!!"

"Oops. Go on."

"I - "

"But this has the stink of a love story."

"I'm leaving"

"Noooooooooooooooo. Sean!! Stay!!! Tell me na. Pwease pwease pwease? I'll do the kitty face and you won't be able to resist me."

"Everyone dislikes a yowling cat."

"What! I do NOT yowl. I mew. See? Mew."

"Janie."

"Mew?"

"Janie."

"Yes?"

"Hush."

"Mhm."

"So

Less was the only collie in class. She was brown with beautiful hazel eyes and the attitude of an angel. She had never ONCE caused an upset and usually helped in guarding the other pets and making sure those meant to stay in cages, stayed in cages. It wasn't her fault that a big white male collie decided to turn up in class with a girl better described as a turnip-head. Not her attitude which was I'm-All-That, but the shape of her head and the bush of hair on top of her head really gave that appearance. Prince Me nearly choked himself by stuffing his hankies into his mouth to keep from laughing. There was also a green streak in her black hair which looked even more striking on her otherwise pale brown face. "You!", she shouted at him when she spotted his mirth at her not-so-appealing appearance. It was early morning and the rest of his classmates were only arriving. "What are you laughing at?", her eyes glinted as she said this. He managed to make a straight face and said, "Hello You. I'm Me." She gave him a strange look. "HOW did you know my name?!"

"Because I'm Me", and Me walked out like a boss.

"Lol. Imagining that is funny."

"Well you like melodrama"

"Of course I do. Continue!"

"No."

"Why???"

"Because that's it."

"WHAT?! That CANNOT be it."

"Yes it is"

"No it's NOT"

"Ugh. Most unsatisfying story EVER!"

"You are missing the point. There isn't a Happily Ever After."

"That's because it isn't COMPLETE"

"Oh? It's MY story. I make it and end it as I please."

"No way. I'm continuing it."

"Oh really?" 

"Yup. Will do."

"Let's see it then."

*May Not Be Continued*

Alone

A fear so irrational,
It slides in like Fate,
It tells you things,
Whispers like Zmey -
Makes you rethink
What you see around,
Wonder what's real,
Or are you really falling down
This giant black hole
Where there won't be any holds,
Nothing to pull out of,
Not on your own -
You wonder if this blackness :
Will it hurt you or not?
Because reality seems slow
Where your mind is not -
Waves of nausea,
Struck on by wind,
Motion and confusion,
No balance again -
Something is wrong,
You just don't figure out,
Till the last moment
When you find you are -
Alone.

To a Hardworking Father

Are you home or are you not?
Father dear, you're working lot;
I know you're here and somewhere near,
But your shoes are the only evidence I fear.

Untitled

One look, one smile,
Was enough to change my mind -
Though I know there are shards
That will cut me deep,
I keep on walking as I see
At the other end - You, waiting for me.

Photographs

Storms seemed bearable at your side;
Now feeling alone, I wish for another life.
So soon I'll leave, go far away -
Further than I have ever been to this day.
A day and a half is too much or too less?
Does this distance matter? Will it cause regret?
Dreams are coming true!
Waning and waxing like the moon.
I wish for something familiar to hold
In this sea of beings new.
When I call you're not there,
When I come you're away somewhere,
And all I'll have left next to my heart
Is a photograph of another time -
When there was a 'we' mon cher.

Dearly Beloved... Or Not.

Is it all just for show?
Or do you love him true?
Because death follows,
Whatever you do.

He gave you all
And what did you do?
Leave him in loneliness
And heartache untold.

You can see his love,
Shining in those eyes,
You can feel his love,
Even miles apart;

You insolent fool!
You do nothing but destroy -
Do you love him or not!
For he deserves far better than you.

Better than you every step of the way!
He deserves no less than the best,
The honest, the strong, the most beautiful,
Not you, a lout, a penniless princess

He bothers with you. Why.
He chose you and this is what you do.
It is not okay. Those feelings you have -
Are they safe? Don't hurt that innocent
Who doesn't know your games.