Drowning

We never quite said hello,
It was a quick jump into a deep sea
And seeing you breathe while I
Drown.
We never quite said goodbye,
But it was always there in your eyes
And you just stood by watching me
Drown.

Inside

Do you really want to know what is inside
This mind is shut so tight,
The pretense of being open intensified.
Do you really want to know what is inside?

Your ropes around her wrists,
She's pinned and helpless as it is,
She smiles, open eyes, mind shut tight,
Do you want to know what is inside?

Her legs around your waist,
She pulls you in and pushes you away,
Naughty smiles all around, minds shut tight,
Like secret old books, who knows what's inside?

You lie side by side in a bed of lust,
With few years of regret
And present doubts of love,
Seeds of confusion, a wish to be numb

She's carrying inside new heartache,
The sort of pain you've already known.
You're carrying inside odes of love,
The sort of trial she's been through before.

You

You seem like fire and ice all at once,
Hell and heaven in packed in a ton,
You seem like melody and grace
Surrounded by an enigma of rock,
You seem so very close to my touch yet -

When I hold you, you melt into my arms
Fade into invisible nothingness
Till I see nothing but my empty arms
In front of me, wondering where you went.
You seem so real, so tangible, so good yet -

When I reach out, you're there but you're not and
I fear to share some deep dark secrets simply
Because it might be too soon to say
Some words which I cannot un-say and
Which have been told to me by other men -

Yet I long to hear them from you.

A broken heart, a charred soul

I left you with a broken heart,
A broken heart, a charred soul;
I left you because I could hurt no more,
Hurt no more, bear no more;
Being told you knew the misery -
The misery I was going through,
And tricking me to stay for you -
Stay for you and die for you,
This hit me worse than a thunderstorm,
Worse than any calamity could ever do,
That is when I broke my heart -
Broke my heart and charred my soul,
I doubt I will trust anyone anymore,
Since I broke my heart and charred my soul,
All of it for you.

Choose

Why can't we just choose
To be sunshine and rainbows
With a little bit of rain
And hope that someone
Will have the courage to find
The pot of gold at the end
Of our lovely maze?

Could you...

Could you fall into me one day,
We'll lie side by side
Not knowing where we collide;

Could you take me slowly,
Like gentle waves kissing the shore
Leave me wanting me more;

Would you choose me every day,
Even when you're angry please
Would you choose to stay;

Would you tell me you love me one day
Broken pieces joined with gold
This dusty diamond on the side of the road;

Could you let me love you, if nothing else
Spellbound and addicted to your touch
Just let me love you, if nothing else.

Don't stay

Tell me you love me
One more time,
Then I'll say goodbye;
Tell me this is the last kiss,
I won't miss any of this.
Now my eyes are open
I won't let you in,
You're hearing me moan
But I don't feel a thing,
I'm here in the dark
Hopin' and prayin',
That you will leave,
That you will not stay...
Tell me you love me
One last time,
Then I'll say goodbye.

Half built nest

Chasing love at any cost
Stumbling and falling
Just always, feeling lost -
Desperate to lose self in another's arms
To drown in kisses and lust
To pretend that it's true love
Fake happy reality to this world
But not knowing how to step forth
Not knowing to judge one's worth
Still chasing love like a foolish bird
Half built nests, disillusioned with the world.

Alive

There is something which tells me when I'm with a human being with the capacity to be human and humane. Most people say that this is "being a man" or "being a woman", but it's not. It's neither and both because
at the end of the day, we're all salt water and dirt mixed with love and pain, it's upto us whether we become the monster we fear or the angel we wish to have.

The monster smiled at me today.

It's so easy to lie with a smile on your face -
You could be crying inside.
Screaming.
Bruises all over your skin,
In places the sunlight never sees.
You could be shouting at the world to
Please.
Stop.
Please.
But they can't hear you,
Can't see you,
It's so very easy to lie with a smile on your face.
It's not like anyone really cares anyway!
"How was your day?"
"How are you?"
(I'm broken like stained glass on the church floor.
I'm breaking my skin to let the evil out.
I'm imagining black blood ooze out.
Rotten, stinking, something not human.
I'm screaming or I want to scream.
To beg the monsters not to take me in my dreams.
I'm so tired of running and running
On a treadmill when the road,
It's right next to me?
But I can't get off.
I'm trying to make out the words you're saying,
It should make sense but it's alien.
Everyone is alien.
I don't belong.
Someone please set me free.
Let me go home.
Go home? Where?
Snap back to reality.)
"Did I just freeze you out there?
Oh I'm sorry.
I just didn't hear you clearly.
Yes of course I'm fine.
Everything is fine."
I'm smiling.
I maybe lying.
It's not too late for me
At least not yet.
And start believing my own lies as well.

One step from her touch

You are one step away from touching me.
I am one step away from reaching you.
Step back.
Step back if you want to.
You're just one step away
And I am still here,
A little away from your eager hands,
One step away.

Baby, I have truly lost the desire to lead,
I would rather learn to trust this time,
And maybe be led to hell or blissful oblivion.
You are one step away from touching me.
I am one step away from reaching you.
Step back,
Step back if you want to.

I will not take centre stage right now.
There are days this will change,
I might turn into a lioness, wild and fierce,
Roaring at the world, maybe I am,
But I'd much rather purr under your fingers,
Caressing my back, pushing me back,
Leading me of my own will to hell or secret bliss.

You are one step away from touching me.
I am one step away from reaching you.
Do you want to take that step?
If this is all just about sex,
If this is all just about
Two bodies meeting in tandem
Creating music only they can dance to,
I will take that one step to you.
But if you wish to be more,
A partner in crime to rob the bank,
To set off bombs or to assassinate a man,
I shall remain just where I am
And wait.

You are just one step away from touching me.
I see your hands are eager.
Why don't you come and get me?

One night

Let me sleep but one night in your arms
I promise never to come back again to your side;
Let me spend a single night in your bed,
Under your blanket, under the illusion I'm safe,
So that just maybe I won't need to wake up again.