Precious

I love him like a wound,
Like a pain in my head
That makes me see stars,
That makes me hope for better days.

I love him like a disease
That I don't want my body to throw away,
Like spots on my face which mark me.

I love him like I love the dark
And yet fear it at the same time,
For it swallows me whole each night.

I love him like a nightmare and a daydream,
Those I can't wake up from and confuse me,
Scare me, scar me, become my tragedy -

Because he is my addiction
Who comes in a bottle with a cigarette in hand,
Who wakes up like time is of no matter,

Who doesn't realize that my each stolen second with him is

Precious.

Happy Birthday - to that someone.

We have our differences -
You won't speak,
I'll be rude,
Too straightforward,
And you anger too soon.
Many little problems,
Little things left unsaid.
Acting like a mother out of care,
Acting like a teenager in despair,
It's both of us and we leave it unsaid.
Maybe we aren't what we used to be,
Maybe not so much close as once was,
Maybe we went away and in between
Even became strangers for a while.
But we're still here,
Still in each other's life,
A pain-in-the-ass,
Yet hopefully a lovable one -
Come whatever may,
If you need a last resort,
It's there.
I'm here, I got your back,
Just as I know you have mine.

Love you.

Happy birthday :)

Healing

Stolen kisses under a moonlit sky, mosquitoes buzzing annoyingly nearby, whispered sweet nothings into each other's ears, yet silence was deepest and most dear.
Silent actions mimicking few words, a slap across the face with the sound going unheard, tears flowing freely as whispers are angry, a push, a shove, a crack and disappear.
Another starry sky with a bottle and cigarette shared, huddled together in their own small lair, his arms are protecting, comforting, apologizing, but her cheek is still bruised yet now healing.

The Place called You

You always feel to me like a place I've never been, yet inherently know, like you're my home to where I belong, yet you're the moon I'll always wonder how to reach, and always, always, you're my star, my warmth and my guide, where I've never been but you're my home, and our way is never lost.

Wandering thoughts

In that one instance
where I see you walk away,
my eyes on you yet
my mind far away,
thinking up pictures
with no seams,
points of light
that haunt me in my dreams.
That one instance
where I struggle to say
Stay
and when I can't, that's
when the flood drowns me,
blackness grabs me,
rapes my mind to turn me
numb.

My darling.
I love you yet I no longer know how.

Dumb charades

You can never know -
Whether she means high
Though she says low,
If it's a metaphor
Or an old ghost,
Whether she means yes
When she says no,
If it's going to be forever goodbye
Though she had just said hello.