*Part Five - Wish I Could've Avoided That*
And even if I did, what should I be caring about? That was an even bigger dilemma. I can't just blurt it out to him. Or could I?
"So what about you? What are you doing now?"
"You bother about it after all this time?"
"Kind of, yes. I know I was being stupid and I'm not gonna make excuses for myself. So... You married?"
"No I didn't"
So he didn't marry. Well there's still plenty of time for him. He's just 29 with a good job and an okay life. So why is he looking at me so intensely as if I'm the reason for it?
"Why didn't you?"
"I never found someone like that."
Ah yes. Our old hope of finding someone who'd understand us and be passionate and caring like we were to each other during those days. Even then, we had already forseen that it's never gonna last. So even if it does sting... I can always find comfort thinking, I knew this would happen all along. Not much of a comfort but.. You get used to it after so many years. Well I got used to it. I got Alison and that was... enough for me. I think. But him... Hm. I really don't know.
"Ok. So what have you been doing?"
"I'm doing research. I came here on a sabbatical."
"Research on what?"
"Whispering gallery-mode single virus detection. I'm checking out some new possibilities on the theory."
"I am SO sorry I asked."
Really, when was the last time we laughed like this? Ok... Not thinking about that.
"So Alison... What happened? Was this planned? As in did you plan to get a child?"
"Um..." Think fast. Lie or not? Lie. "... Yes."
"I see. I was kind of hoping... "
"Hoping what?"
"Never mind."
"What is it? Say?"
Old memories I do not need. At least not right now.
"I was... Hoping... How old is she?"
"Eight."
Why is he looking so shocked? Oh DAMN. He remembers. I should've lied but it came out in reflex mode. And he looks furious.
"You know what Valen I think I'll leave now. I left some things for you and Anne. I wasn't expecting kids here. Bye."
He stormed out and Anne stormed in.
"You have a penchant for causing trouble? Why don't you just tell the man? He came here for you. He's outside right now. Go to him. NOW!"
Goodness Anne. You're screaming at me and pushing me out the door all at once.
And...
He's not there. Now what?
Stand out here like some old movie and think of all the times we've had and cry? I think not.
"It's not like I planned this! She just happened and you let me go!"
Oops. Did I say that out loud?
"Mommy?"
Alison. Charlie. Katie. Coming from the back. And Alison almost never calls me Mommy or Mother or anything unless she's really confused or hurt. And Anne is at the door watching this. And...
And...
Oh my God what have I gotten myself into???
