Sparks of insanity

Sparks of insanity rush through my fingertips
I test them out on you -
There is no reason to hold back,
I am just letting myself feel you.
And you to feel me.
You are warm. I'm cold.
Cold as the now hardened soul within me.
Your love seems odd to me,
A tribute to the remnant of yesterday's me.
This is all about me in case you haven't noticed,
Nothing to do with you.
Nothing to do with the way I exalt,
The way I adore, every touch of you.
It shouldn't be this easy to turn my back
And walk away from so much love,
All that care, all that insanity where I found peace.
I am calm in your storm.
I was so quiet when you thunder.
I had become so used to your loving violence
That every hailstone is a brick I throw at myself
While digging my grave and bringing you gold -
I was calm in your storm.
Sparks of insanity rush through my fingertips
I test them out on you -
I tell you I want out of this loving cage
Where I am eating chocolate cake
Drowned in strawberry shake
Without complaint.
Well I complain now that I hate it.
Sparks of insanity rush through my fingertips
And I wish you never read this -
Because it would never be as easy to stop,
As easy as it is to die in paper,
To tell you the truth.
And to turn the other way.