It was never what I wanted
You made me believe it was
Lies and more lies
I fell for it all
You hurt me in ways
I would rather forget
But they come back in nightmares
Unexpected touches
And now I know.
Now I know it was not my fault -
When you forced me down
When you crushed my chest
Against a mattress on the floor
When I couldn't breathe
And you kept telling me
I'm dirty for wanting more.
Now I know it was not my fault -
That I bled every time you
Forced yourself inside
This unwilling cunt, you said
Is just a show
Just to make you want me more
And more
And I should just lie there and take it.
Now I know it was not my fault -
Once caught there is no choice
Yes, some men are stronger
Than women no matter what
Any one says
Nature gifted them with brawn
And women with brain
And few with both or maybe reverse
It's a cruel game.
But now I know it's not my fault -
I couldn't have said a word
When thrown down by my hair
Made into an Indian map
Of mountains and valleys
And a barren desert
My geography exploited
But my life did not end
Simply because you put a cork
Temporarily in places
It had no business being in.
And now I know to fight,
To sleep without nightmares of you,
To walk with my head held high,
My honour doesn't rest in my vagina;
It rests with my acts, my mind and me.
Now I know it's not my fault,
And you have no more position here
To traumatize me.
