Naïveté

I let him take parts of me
That were never meant to be taken,
I let him shove expectations and promises
Deep down my throat till my resolve weakened,
I started thinking it is my duty -
To be pushed around and treated
Like a pensive bin: of his thoughts,
His dreams, his desires, his needs,
His wants, his expectations,
His Expectations.
I realised it too late that I was a fountain,
Set out to cascade over mountains,
Carve and start a river, make a sea;
I spat out the false promises too late,
I realised late my true duty and fate,
I had let him take those parts of me
That were never meant to be taken,
But now those promises and expectations
Finally mean nothing.

Belonging

Stupid, stupid girl.
You actually thought that you belonged in this place where your name has no meaning.
Silly girl.
Hasn't it always been the same?
Fake?
Watching from shiny window panes into a world beyond your grasp,
Thinking you're a part of it and then you bump into glass.
Stupid, stupid girl.
You knew you shouldn't have stayed to begin with,
You knew you'd get attached,
You're never able to decide the line and look,
You never last.
You were just an illusion of a part
Which was never really needed to begin with,
You just wanted to be needed.
That's your secret need, isn't it?
To be wanted? Needed? To BELONG?
To belong like that is your home, your nest,
Somewhere no one can chase you away from
No matter what the cost.
Silly girl.
That place will never be.
You knew this as your reality,
You still chose to believe the dream.
And now you cry,
In a corner of a lonely bed,
Feeling sorry for yourself.
Pathetic little girl,
You never learn your lesson, do you?
No one wants you.
Not even you.