Naïveté

I let him take parts of me
That were never meant to be taken,
I let him shove expectations and promises
Deep down my throat till my resolve weakened,
I started thinking it is my duty -
To be pushed around and treated
Like a pensive bin: of his thoughts,
His dreams, his desires, his needs,
His wants, his expectations,
His Expectations.
I realised it too late that I was a fountain,
Set out to cascade over mountains,
Carve and start a river, make a sea;
I spat out the false promises too late,
I realised late my true duty and fate,
I had let him take those parts of me
That were never meant to be taken,
But now those promises and expectations
Finally mean nothing.

Seeing Is Believing

I wonder of my worth,
How you see me with your eyes -
The weird, crazy girl
Or the silent with grumpy eyes?
People all around
Yet I feel lost,
Somewhere I belong yet
Somehow I am lost.
Is it because he isn't here?
Is it because there is more?
Or is it because there is goodbye
Coming soon to tear at hearts and souls?

How do YOU see me stranger?
As the timid one in the group?
The one who keeps silent
Until provoked to?
The one who keeps trying
To fit in with the crowd she likes?
Maybe I should just keep silent
And disappear from their lives.

How do you see me professor?
The one with all the answers?
The one with all the doubts?
The one dead outside the course?
How did you see me mother?
The one who never worked?
The one who never cared
And the one who never loved?

How did you see me world?
Someone who can't understand
The vagaries of the heart or mind?
The one who broke hearts knowing
And unknowingly in her stand?
The one who reads and reads,
The one who dreams a lot in ink,
The one who can't think

Outside the box she is in.
How did I see myself?
I once saw a princess.
How do I see myself?
I see thorns and not a rose instead.