Futility

There are no more miles to go
All I want is to sleep,
I can see those last few metres
I'm just letting it wait ;
Once I finish this race,
There's no turning back -
There are no more miles to go
All I want is to sleep.
No prince charming or fairy godmother
Will wake me up
When there's no one to wake up to,
When it's not worth living for anymore;
I can take a bullet for you!
I can die for you in your place!
Because I don't have anything to live for ;
Emptiness is a hard weight,
I'm fighting to understand nothing,
The nothingness in my head is drowning
Me.
Let me sleep.
Just a few more metres to go,
My miles are up and I'm ready to go
Into the waiting bed of no return,
An endless sleep where my existence
Remains the same as it is now -
Futile.

Naïveté

I let him take parts of me
That were never meant to be taken,
I let him shove expectations and promises
Deep down my throat till my resolve weakened,
I started thinking it is my duty -
To be pushed around and treated
Like a pensive bin: of his thoughts,
His dreams, his desires, his needs,
His wants, his expectations,
His Expectations.
I realised it too late that I was a fountain,
Set out to cascade over mountains,
Carve and start a river, make a sea;
I spat out the false promises too late,
I realised late my true duty and fate,
I had let him take those parts of me
That were never meant to be taken,
But now those promises and expectations
Finally mean nothing.