- So how was it?
- Not what I expected.
- You were off the entire time. We didn't have to do this if you didn't want to.
- He thinks I'm in love with you and I'm not.
- Why does it matter?
- I love him, not you.
- I know. Yet you're here in bed with me.
- I know. The idea of you was too appealing for me not to try.
- Same here... Will he understand any of this though?
- This?
- This sapiosexual attraction that was there the moment we spoke to each other. The high we're getting off each other by just spending time talking about things most people will be bored by at this age. The kick that we're getting off being around another person we consider an intellectually better being. The physical intimacy that has nothing to do with sex and which is made better out of the fact that we keep it like a game of strategy and pleasure.
- And that this has nothing to do with love. Because I love him and you are still in love with her.
- Yes. Of course I am.
- Why do you love her?
- She made me... She brought out the best and worst in me. The connection was electric and chemical. Instant. We just knew.
- How was the sex?
- Pain and pure pleasure. She was far more experienced. But I knew it was special for her just as much as it was for me.
- I hope you meet her again.
- I will. I will find her. I want to ask you something.
- Ask away.
- Why him? It makes no sense. You don't even hang out in the same circles or company.
- He... He is my better half. He makes me a better person even if he brings out the worst in me at times. He... I never felt this sort of connection with anyone else. It isn't the oxytocin talking. I can't break down what I have with him into chemicals and wiring... He makes me feel drunk and sober, like I'm on a permanent high of heroin and caffeine, like I can do anything even if I am alone because he believes in me, he makes me feel brave. I would have never sacrificed my self interests like my career and studies for anyone or anything. I did it in a heartbeat and I might do it again if it meant an improvement in welfare. I feel like I belong and like a stranger with him. Like a friend and a mistress and a wife. When we touch, I want the pain and I want the love and he gives me both and every second he lets me know that I am valued. He knows my silences. I wish I understood him half as well. He reads me like an open book. It is electric and soft with him. Like... I'm blabbering, amn't I? Sorry.
- Ha. You love him. I understand. But why?
- He is kind. He is brave. He is rich at heart and knows the world that doesn't know or see him. He is a gentleman and a rascal. Loyal. Diffident and confident. He is what I thought love would not be like but is. He knows the world in ways I don't and I admire that. I want him. I need him with me. I can't explain why I love him.
- I think you did.
- I told you what I think of him. But why I love him, I don't know. I can't explain.
- Your phone?
- It's him!
- Are you going to answer it?
- Yes... Hello... Yes... I'm fine. You? Ok... Ok. I'm going to sleep then. No, I didn't do anything special tonight. I miss you. Goodnight. Love you too.
- Why didn't you tell him I'm here?
- He won't understand. I don't understand it that well myself.
- A social experiment I guess. That's what we are. A test at probability. Maybe in another situation, another time, some other circumstances, we may have been lovers.
- I doubt that.
- Why not?
- I won't love you. My attraction is to the idea of you and not you. Sorry.
- Ah. Ok.
- I'm sorry. I'm not attracted to you... We're too alike, you know?
- It's ok. Never got that reaction from a girl before. And I've been with a lot.
- First time for everything. I think you should get going.
- Hug?
- Ok.
- Take care then. Take care of yourself.
- I will. This is the last time I will see you. So. Goodbye. Stay safe.
- Fine. Goodnight.
- Night.
