It feels easier to smile
Than to show what's inside.
Tears, tears and more tears,
Anger, indescribable fury,
Coldness, the lack of a heart,
Confusion, only thoughts and no feelings.
Smiles through it all,
She stands in her mind alone.
The vast maze where she loses self,
Which is everything and nothing,
Which is ruined beyond repair,
Where there is darkness and escape.
But escape is another trap, she smiles,
Her thoughts carrying her further and further.
After everything she does,
Her eyes are still cold,
Her lips pull back to a smile,
Everything pleases yet hurts.
Nothing is wrong, she smiles,
Everything will be fine.
Is it really going to be
When you are only thoughts, lady?
There are people, a person,
Waiting for you, just waiting.
Let him wait, she says and another smile,
He will go when he sees he deserves better.
Why so cold lady?
Have you no heart?
There is love and calculation
But maths never gave birth to love.
I know yet so I am and so I will be,
I smile knowing all and nothing.
All I do no matter what - happy, sad or angry -
Is smile, just simply smile to hide.
