I don't have words

I don't have words.
I don't have the words to explain
This emptiness inside my chest,
Where I feel I lack something essential,
When I can't be around you yet need you,
So much that watching you walk away,
It's like this perverse action where I find relief
That you chose not to stay, not to hold me,
Not to try to understand the wordlessness.
Yet I wish you would have stayed.
I wish you would have stayed and held me,
Comforted me, tried to understand this wordless sadness
Where I'm connected and one with the universe
And its grief engulfs me into a black hole
Where I'm drowning.
I'm drowning my love.
You see that, I know you do,
Yet you still choose to walk away
After a few moments of coaxing me.
I need your patience but I can't ask,
Not that.
I need your kindness but I can't ask,
Not that.
I need to know you love me and that I'm not alone,
But I would never dare ask,
Not that.
In front of you, I'm unable to explain.
I just don't have the words.
I don't have words.

Her wishes

She never asks for much than you.
Yet that is the most difficult for you.
She never asked you to bring her the moon
Or buy her a flower bunch
Or even much that's for her own.
She just asks you to stay a little longer.
Yet you never do.
She doesn't ask you to accompany her
Everywhere and anywhere
Because she wants you to choose her
Over others when she can't take care of herself.
You rarely come.
She spends her time on you.
She does everything else too.
For you, you always have something else
Always something to be done
Someone to be met, made welcome.
She even welcomes you to her bed.
You take her mindlessly, is it a game?
Is she your pawn or is she your queen?
On this chessboard where you've named yourself king.