Untitled #9

The conflict never ends
There is never any chance to mend
Every turn is just as dark
Another shade of grey,
They all look the same.

Cannot fit in a box
Cannot fit in a space this small
Cannot fit in your glass walls
Your hypocrisy thickly veiled behind pretty words
You never see my blade.

"Coming home" is never what it means
Death and decay is all that I've seen
In there where "home" is nothing
But 5 strangers in a room
My knife looks big to you
But it can never cut me as deep as you.

Untitled #8

Can you love this side of me?
The one I don't let anyone see,
The one that chokes and hopes to die,
Can you love this part of me?
That isn't happy all the time,
That's gonna wanna stay the night?

You'll have a hard time making sense of this:
Understanding a desperate masochist,
I try going out of my head and mind,
Just to get out of bed sometimes.

Can you love this side of me?
The one that looks like it might cry,
The one that didn't need bait to bite,
Can you love this part of me?
That screams in agony,
That chokes for air to breathe?

But why would you do this time,
It's like being in jail but outside,
Why would you help me breathe?
If I'm the one who's choking me.

Maybe I hit my head,
Maybe I was raised to be left,
And if you're looking for a fairytale,
Open another book and walk away.

But can you try to love this part of me?
I'm choking but I'd like to breathe,
I'm gasping but I want to breathe,
Can you love this side of me?
The one ruling the paradox of me,
The one I don't let anyone else see.