Not Meant To Be

I'm looking at you
For that one sign
My mistake I know
But it's not mine alone! 

It's not like you were there
Holding my hand through it all
No, you were not there
Not when I cried my heart out

Still I'm asking forgiveness
Because I don't want this fight
It's not that I wanted this
For 'us' to die

I'm running now
From your taunting voice
Mocking in its sadness
Despairing melodies from so many nights.

I can't stand this anymore
I want out
I'm walking away from my troubles
Because that is my only way out

Is there another? 
Tell me if there is
I don't want to be this coward
But I'm no longer his

Wanted to be
Wished to be
But never was
And never will be.

Hiding Behind A Smile

Now I realize how it's so easy
To hide behind a smile, 
With my own glassy eyes teasing
I feel like I've run a mile.

Never realized I'd have to lie one day
And that it'd be to save myself, 
Because my tears have no worth today
And I'm better off by myself.

It was never hard to give that much
Never bothered to ever expect, 
But once given hope then taken back
The pieces gave me full effect.

The puzzle came together, 
I adored the picture, 
Then tore it to bits...
Because if it was mine to keep, 
It would come back to stay, 
Else let it go its own way.