Sunday, 8 November 2015

They say happiness is a choice...

They say happiness is a choice.
And it is. When I choose you,
For all those smiles, the comfort,
The quiet moments, the walks,
The unexpected flowers,
₹1 toffees which mattered more
Than a galaxy or a milky way.
Because it told me you thought.
Of me.

They say happiness is a choice.
Or is it? When I choose you,
Over and over again,
Wordless fights, overwhelming silence,
Pointed ignorance and avoidance,
Classic hiding among others,
No expression, no communication,
But you still come back finally.
To me.

They say happiness is a choice.
Is it? When we try to figure things out,
When words unsaid loom over us,
When the guarded pauses are loaded
With tears, as of yet, by both, unshed,
When the end is inevitable but
Always, always, postponed,
Like a difficult final assignment
Long overdue.

They say happiness is a choice.
And it is - When we are fighting for
Each other instead of grabbing the
Other's throat, pushing to walls,
Dragging down by hair,
Clawing, screaming, animalistic mess;
When we fight to keep each other,
Not to lose one other by the
Month's end.

They say happiness is a choice.
Or is it? When my long road of dreams
And the sparks of happiness rest
Awaiting the reply of a single man,
Giving him the power of Lord to decide
Whether I die with him or live without,
Giving him the power of fate to decree
Whether I am privileged to share his life,
And him, mine.

They say happiness is a choice.
It is. I'm choosing now on my own,
Gods be damned.
Maybe we were too good for each other.
Maybe we burnt too high.
The flames had to die someday,
There is no warm house for us,
Only cold separate ways. No us now,
Just you, me.

Thursday, 5 November 2015

Workaholic

You do not see the tears
That trickle down every night,
After you leave the bed cold;
The only warmth being her work,
She turns to it more.

Then it starts to kill,
A kind of addiction,
A sort of escape,
Where mechanical routine
Is soul numbing - she doesn't feel -

At least, not anymore.

Layers after layers of paper
Smother her in her dreams;
The darkness which comes with it,
The high she gets off it,
All seems worth to hide the pain.

Piles after piles of books,
Miles and miles of faces,
Confused smiles and angry glares,
To work is to be free of the mob,
To be free of the anxiety and pain -

Yet it kills her, each second, a little more.

You do not see her broken spirit
Reflected in her now lifeless eyes,
The bed you left cold long ago,
But now you're back
Just to say goodbye.

The cold machine she has turned into,
The iron fist which she exerts in her field,
The drinks and weed she avoids,
Only to drown herself in more sheets,
Realise that you're the reason she's there -

A workaholic in her cold and lonely despair.