You are the first thing on my mind as I wake up this morning.
Today, lying on the bed, I wish your legs were intertwined with mine, your knees bent towards me, feeling the warmth of your skin on mine.
I lay on the side of the bed with my eyes closed; I can feel your arms around me, holding me close as your body settles against mine with your face in my hair and whispering "Good morning".
Barely awake, I feel you squeeze me, making me feel safe and protected in your arms.
I miss you today.
Standing alone in the room I remember breakfast. I think back to the Saturdays we would walk together with or without other friends to the little roadside stand for food.
When it's just us, sometimes we would walk in silence and other times I would talk and talk about nothing in particular, but you would smile… because we were together and we were happy just being close to each other.
I miss you today.
Outside the air is perfect, the sky above is blue with scattered clouds and there is a slight breeze against my face as I walk. It makes me miss your hands; their smoothness, the security they represented, and the way they hold mine and lead them to your lips as you drop a kiss.
I loved the way you would grab onto me as if you were afraid of losing me.
I miss you today.
I walk past places we used to go together and begin thinking of things we could do if you were here. Instead of walking to a café, I’d still be in bed. We’d be sleeping in without a care in the world. Our bodies would be close. Your shoulder would be perfect for my head to lay on as I’d lay my hand on your bare chest, feeling your heart beat.
I’d move my hand through your rich black hair until you murmur my name with satisfaction. I would feel you adjust your body as you’d indicate where you’d like to be massaged next.
We would settle into each other without a worry or a care, because we’d know, no matter what, that we would always be together.
I miss you today.
But today you have a new life. You have a new Saturday routine, it's no longer with me. Maybe it's better. Maybe it's not.
Maybe you miss me at times. Maybe you want to wake up with me at times. Instead we have gone our separate ways.
I wonder sometimes whether your routine will include someone else; mine as well. I wonder whether it would be each other again.
But as for now, we have to grow up without each other, and as far as I know, we will not be.
As days pass by, I suppose I shall think of less and less. But for today,
Today, I miss you.
