Untitled #42

Leaving you isn't the comfort I imagined it will be,

People are people and we change sometimes,

But this is like a tragedy only to bring me down;

I don't know what to be when you're around,

I know it'll never be simple, never easy,

Never a clean break and no one here to save me,

Even when I'm someone you'd know like the back of your hand,

I can't breathe when I'm with you, but I try to, have to,

Even if I don't know what to be when you're around...

Leaving home hasn't been the saving grace I thought it'd be,

I never wanted this, never wanted to hurt you,

But people are people so sometimes it doesn't work out,

Nothing you say now will save me from the fallout;

And I know it's never simple, never easy,

Can't have a clean break and no one's here to save me,

Even when I have my friends, it's not family, not you,

But I'm drowning when I'm with you, I can't breathe even when I try to,

Even when I try to be what you want me to be...

It's been years and I still feel like the stray you took in,

I hope you know this was never, isn't, easy for me;

It's never simple, never easy, never a clean break,

But I have to breathe, without you.

Untitled #41

Don't let me fall apart. 

No. Let me fall apart.

Let me crash and shatter like precious China

That my mother would never take out of the cupboard.

Let me break and become a kaleidoscope of colour.

I just need to know that you'll be there for my metamorphosis.

When my broken bones and punctured lungs pull themselves back together,

When tendons crunch and grind in the agony of pulling themselves together

Much like a werewolf turning human,

Forming new human parts and a stitched up heart.

I just need to know you'll be there for my metamorphosis.

You don't need to not let me fall apart.

Let me fall. I can catch myself. 

I just need to your hand is there to hold.

I just need to know that even if there is no rainbow,

And even if this storm never ends,

And I never learn left from right, 6 from 9,

You'll still be there in the end. 

A loving witness till our deaths end.