September love

I thought someday, someone,
A man would make me feel
That this world is mine;
And then you came along
Blown in my face by a September wind,
Hot like a bonfire made for my December,
(December was the only month I ever lived)
You held my hand and -
I learnt that I am complete without another (hu)man,
I learnt of months existing without the hailstorm,
I learnt to feel the heat and get wet in the rains,
To leave caution to the winds and let love breeze in;
Like you did, to show me a universe of mine.
Ours.

Choking myself

Choking myself

Sounds scary but,

It is what I love,

To take control,

Instead of submit,

To the bestial horrors,

Of the everyday world;

The futility of existence,

The numbing nothingness,

All of which chokes us,

Makes us forget to breathe,

Dares us to succumb,

While we just keep running away,

Trying to keep it at bay.

What for?

What for?

I'll take control,

I'll choke myself,

My small fingers turn and twist

And PRESS and CRUSH

My windpipe -

It screams bloody murder.

It screams for air;

Then the moment of blank blackness!

That epilogue of white!

I'm floating!

I'm dragged back down,

From high up above?

Cruel doctors!

You say damage to my windpipe,

You say damage to my brain,

You call me mad and I call you insane!

Because I'm willing to jump into the unknown
That you all ignore and are scared to accept
And then choke me with your oxygen, your horrors.

Let me go
Let me go
Let me go